Picture Perfect

“We are all getting older. That is the point.”
– Kate Winslet

On Thursday I stood behind a camera at a VLU function… and it turned out to be a lot of fun.

I was not meant to be the photographer, but the original lady, a good friend of mine, couldn’t make it. So there I was. Camera in hand. Watching women adjust their jackets, smooth their hair, tilt their heads slightly. Some eagerly called me over. Others waved me away. “No, not me.” “Just one.” “Wait, let me stand like this.” “Don’t make my arms look big.”

I have learnt something about photos. The more you take, the better your chances of finding the one with the right angle, light and expression.

We are brutal with ourselves in photos. Double chin. Wrinkles. Arms. Tummy. Lines around the eyes. We zoom in and dissect as if we are reviewing evidence in court. Our eyes go straight to what we think is wrong. I often catch myself doing exactly the same.

Yet when I scroll through those same photos of other people, I do not see “big arms” or face full of wrinkles. I see warmth. I see life. I see women who have raised children, buried loved ones, survived things. I see strength.

We rarely notice “flaws” in others the way we magnify them in ourselves. The camera is neutral. The viewer is not.

The deeper question is not whether we should care how we look. Of course we care. It is human to want to feel attractive, put together, vibrant. But what else comes with that desire? Appreciation? Self compassion? Acceptance? Or accusation?

I sometimes think about the real message behind this blog. Jam4Joy was never about pretending everything is perfect. It is about grounded joy. Specifically looking at what is beautiful. Finding inner peace. Working on mental fitness. Appreciating what we have and accepting what we cannot control.

When I guide people towards health, it is not just about weight, blood pressure or glucose numbers. It is also about how their inner voice speaks when they see the number. It is about what you think when you look at your reflection. It is about whether your pursuit of health is driven by self respect, self punishment, or by fear of not being loved. The outer actions may look similar, but the most important part is what the photo does not show… The inner feeling.

This is also why, while we were creating the What’s My Glucose course, I wanted to first create Rewrite Your Sugar Story. I believe it is important to understand the heart of what you feel, before analysing glucose numbers and food choices.

Autopilot eating and autopilot self criticism often run on the same neural track. If your inner dialogue is harsh, your nervous system stays activated. Cortisol rises. Insulin follows. (Similar to eating food which raises glucose and insulin.)

Shame and self criticism does not create sustainable change. Feeling safe, accepted and enough does. And it does not really matter if everyone else thinks you are kind and beautiful. If you do not believe it, you will not feel it.

Sometimes we use tools. I truly believe medications like Ozempic can be helpful for some women. They are not magic fixes. They are tools. A support while building muscle, stabilising glucose, strengthening emotional resilience. I even wrote a PDF about what to know before starting Ozempic, because informed decisions create calm decisions.

But no injection can fix a cruel inner voice.

I think of Kate Winslet pushing back against airbrushing and choosing to age naturally. Not because she stopped caring, but because she decided that looking human mattered more than looking flawless. I admire that.

For me, strength matters more than wrinkle free skin. Being able to run. To lift. To think clearly. To sleep peacefully. To be present for my children, family and friends. Wisdom lines are the price of living fully. Thinness without vitality does not interest me. Peace does.

We forget how miraculous our bodies are. Two legs that carry us where we want to be. Two eyes that can see our children playing minecraft. Hands that bake, create, comfort. We reduce all of that to a shadow under the chin that “makes me look fat in that photo.”

On Thursday, while taking those photographs, I tried to capture the beauty of the function and the kindness and strength of the women there. I hope that is what they see. It was also a reminder to be kinder to myself in photos. Less zooming in on perceived defects. More noticing the life in the frame.

The camera was never the real problem. It is the critical eye of the beholder.

Perhaps retraining our inner critic is the most important edit we will ever make.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some type of battle.”

…That includes the woman in the photograph.