One Step at a Time

I am sitting here, phone next to me, checking every few minutes to see if Natey’s teacher has messaged…. Expecting a WhatsApp saying I must come fetch him. He has been so tired lately. Not himself for the last few months.

We did the sensible things. Blood tests showed low ferritin, which is low iron stores. That is something. Something concrete. Something you can act on. So we are giving iron supplements and trying to increase iron rich foods. I even ended up writing a short guide about Low Ferritin because it is something I see often, and because understanding one small piece sometimes helps the mind settle.

But I keep thinking….

What else could it be?
Post viral fatigue?
Something like a post Covid myalgia?
Too much dairy blocking iron absorption?
Too much sugar?  Something with the gut microbes? Histamine?
Some hidden deficiency?
Not enough movement?
Too much stimulation?
Too little rest?
Is it the heat?
Is there mould hiding somewhere?
Do we need more vegetables?
Less pressure?
Should I sage the house just in case?

I laugh at myself a little, but at the same time sort of crying inside too. Because when it is someone you love, you want certainty. You want a cause. You want a fix. You want to know you are not missing something important.

I try to keep our food mostly real. I buy veggies with good intentions.(But they sometimes do end up staying in the fridge too long… luckily for the chickens!) I make homemade snacks for school… which the kids sometimes don’t want to eat because it is “too healthy”, and I have to remind myself balance is key… but isn’t the balance already so skewed towards sugar, chemicals and ultra-processed?  I feel like I have to actively work to get them to eat at least some real food!

This post does not have answers. It is more a collection of ponderings. A snapshot of what it feels like to care deeply and still not know….

And maybe that is the point.

We often think motivation comes from clarity. That once we know exactly what to do, we will move. But in real life, especially with health and parenting, clarity often comes later… like really later.  Like they say, hindsight is 20/20.  Sometimes all you have is one reasonable step. Then another. And the willingness to wait without turning that waiting into panic or self blame…. Which I know won’t be helpful, but it’s not easy.

It is allowing uncertainty to exist without letting it run the show.

Today I do not have a plan. I have love, concern, iron supplements, broccoli in the fridge, and a phone I keep checking… and actually, I am very grateful that I have all those things!